.you know. But I can't get myself to." What?!" Brenden looks taken aback. "Pressuring you to have sex? Where is he? WHO is he?" It's not his fault Bre...," I tell my brother. "I've wanted to, it's just going to be my first time and I'm scared. I'm scared that he might not be the right one. I like him but I don't love him. I want it to be with someone I love and completely trust." I lean over and put my head on his shoulder like I used to do when we were little. We sat in silence for a moment. "I guess so." "So, like what if we could sell it?" "Rad's porn?" "Yeah... I mean, but, like with our voices on it, and stuff." "You want to sell Rad's porn? Wouldn't he be pissed?" "No, man," Kent said shaking his head, "Fuck. You don't get it. I don't mean his DVDs. I mean, we make our own DVDs from his stuff, and put our voices on it." "Ahh," I said, finally grasping on. "Like those old fucking Kung-Fu movies and shit, where their mouths and voices are all screwed up." I continued. Shortly afterward, Joe flooded my mouthwith his sperm. I jerked my head away causing Joe's second squirt to hit mein the face. I decided that the taste wasn't that bad so I swallowed Joe'spenis again and collected the remainder of his sperm in my mouth. Iswallowed the liquid with each delivery into my mouth. I couldn't believehow much Joe came. I now had a belly full of his sperm.Just then the passenger door opened and Joe and Fred helped me out of thetruck. I hadn't noticed that Fred had. I have to pretend, to hide my true feelings – do I know how to do that? How do I explain the days when I’m walking on air and the days when I am sinking in quick sand? Who is this woman who can do that? Somehow I have to appear to be the same woman David married and at the same time discover who I have become. She shuddered, not sure if it was from the cold air raking her goosebumps or the unrelenting images that haunted her mind. * * * Grant stepped forward when he saw her shudder. He caught.
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