I missed him each moment. That night I slept and woke up late night and his memories were troubling me. I got up and wore the top given by him, took o...f all my clothes and slept wearing just that top. I felt I’m in his embrace. He didn’t tell me he Loves me, I felt a bit low but I liked his truthfulness, he said what he feels and I too wasn’t ready for a committed relationship at that moment.From next day onwards college was back to normal and we got into assignments and stuff and did almost. I said to him I have a confession and I need to talk to him later when we're alone and at that point I heard her say ther ya go this ones yours and handed put the ice creams she had just gotten for us all. On the walk home once again as my husband ran ahead of us playing with the k**s we was linked arm in arm on the way home and was talking, and she asked me if I was happy in my married life to which I replied he loves me and I love him what more is needed she then asked if I trusted him again. But i complete my bath & went out & i ask my son “what are u doing there” ” where..?”he questioned .im confused “‘he’s innocent” i confirm my self and we both complete our lunch at 11:30 am & i say ” my dear,i need to sleep(rest),if you want to go out side” “no mom,i am also need that” and i say “come & sleep” when i am just feel deep sleep not actually suddenly some thing moving on my ass,i feel “dont stop it!& do something” but suddenly i realized”at last im a mother of him” & i turn a side. I suppose it was that moment of startling clarity of how my future would be which was the genesis for my decision to end it all, although at the time I hadn't consciously contemplated suicide.An interlude of introspection.When did I lose my soul? When did those elements of my character, which make me who I am, begin to decay and disintegrate?A huge part of me died the day I discovered my best friend Harry Ledbetter and my wife Suzannah shagging each other's brains out on the plush living room.
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