Dead car. No cell service. Lost.This sequence of events is just par for the course for me. An unfulfilling career, a string of bad relationships, the ...atest break-up the worst of them all, and an overwhelming feeling that I don't belong in this world. I am a romantic at heart, yet I have felt unsatisfied with each attempt at love. There has always been something missing. I feel I have just been moving through time, achieving nothing. Moving forward, yet getting nowhere. So, I got in my car and. "I knew what he meant, he knew who I was."I...I was afraid," I said, then sat on the ground, one leg under me sothat panties wouldn't show."I knew when I saw you and your mom leaving yesterday. What's up with allthis?"So I told him, about how I was falsely accused and made to dress as agirl, then shamefully told him that I found out it wasn't so bad, wearinga dress I mean. Then I told him that after he showed up, I didn't think Icould just appear, Carolyn would have to leave first, and that's. " You're teasing again!" And I'll keep doing it till you get back to reality." Thank you."She went back to her office and I stared at the notice of due date for annual reports. Had I done one last year? I couldn't recall. If Shirl were still here, she might know. But she was off in the Northern Territory. And Maggie could have sent her anywhere. Oh, well. I looked in my file cabinet. There was a tab marked "Annual Report 2004-05." The report was two pages long and listed my talk to the. I could almost taste it.I got to her house a few minutes before noon. Her drive-way was empty. She told me her mother wouldn't actually be home when I got there, and it looked to be true. It depressed me when I heard it, but I half expected it already. I sat in my car a few minutes. I wasn't going inside until I had to. A good song was on anyhow. It ended, and I shut off my car. I focused. I got my inner strength together, in the middle of my mind. I was here not only to please Shanda, not only.
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