She looked up at me and started to talk a couple of times as if she was building up courage.“A friend of min just turned 18. Actually I did to. And ...he had this crazy idea. I know it sounds crazy. I told her it was crazy. But she insisted on it. She said everybody does it. She wants to. I still think it is crazy. It is even more crazy now I am here.”After blurting all this in only one second she rushed past me back to the door. I managed to grab one of her shoulders.I love how soft her skin. Sister Angelique wanted to reassure the older woman that she had no hidden agenda and no interest in making Nana her play toy and was only interested in being friendly in simple terms of human decency and common interaction as travelers on the same stagecoach in the middle of the dangerous Indian Territory. She knew if they were stopped by bandits and captured, all three of them would be treated exactly the same by the bandits or the Indians and there would be no remaining dignity or false. Finished, she would smile, wipe, and wash her hands, often giving me a peck on the cheek as she left. She did this right up till the day she left us for another man, another life. I have not seen her since. I was 10…As I grew older, I found that I often thought about Mother and her bathroom habits. The thought of any girl having a tinkle…even the sound of a toilet flushing would excite me in a vague way. I would secretly thrill, if I saw a girl who was in obvious desperation mode, or if I. Did you have sex with Becky so that this would happen? So that you would not commit incest?”Holy shit! Was that it? Was that the missing link? It would certainly explain why I had so easily fallen into Becky’s clutches. Was I subconsciously reacting to something that society said was very, very wrong, that had upset Karin, and I knew that Kara couldn’t accept? Was that really it? I turned this over in my mind and realized that Kara might be right. But I certainly couldn’t tell Doctor Mercer.
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