I felt... emasculated, diminished. If I could not satisfy her, I thought, maybe she needed a real man, a more manly man than me. I imagined her gettin... fucked by a big man, a younger man with a big cock, right in front of me and loving it. In my imagination, she came over and over while fucking a big cock and told me she enjoyed it. I felt... not good enough, inadequate, like it was all my fault. On the other hand, when Sophie let me know that she was interested in me, I felt great. I myself. ’ The tape showed Republican Sean Stockton giving a speech to a sparse crowd. ‘We must respect immigrant workers and their families! We must have compassion for them!’ he said. ‘Giving them Amnesty is an act of love!’ For some reason, most of the Detectives in the MCD room looked at me when they heard that. I let my face show nothing. Bettina came back onto the screen. ‘And in local races, Dagmar Schoen and John Colby were expected to have tough races for their Council seats, but have surged. But sometimes, you just have to tell the truth, tell things exactly as they are, without holding back, and when all I have to talk about are the bad times then yes, I am sure my life looks absolutely awful. But, it’s not really. Sometimes I wake up and wonder why I am even bothering to get out of bed. I stare at the ceiling and ask myself if it is really worth it. If £5.50 an hour is enough for a job that’s never going to take me anywhere. If I have the mental ability to face another row. I didn't know what to expect and just decided to go with the flow. We arrived back at his place a few minutes later and after unlocking the doors, we headed inside. He had a small apartment and showed me around. I was pretty impressed that he could afford his own place at his age. As he showed me the place, he saved the bedroom for last. We walked into the room and before either one of us could say anything, he began kissing me. It was out of nowhere and unexpected, but I made no effort to stop.
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