I knew not to turn round. From somewhere he had produced a piece of rope and, after pushing my head down, I felt something happening and before I had ...ny idea what was going on, my wrists had been tied together. This was what I wanted, what I had wanted for as long as I could remember. I knew he could sense my longing. A few reassuring kisses, then more rope, this time pulling my elbows together so tightly that they met. He did everything with such a sureness of touch, I was barely aware of. “Yes. He’s related, distantly, to the famous one. Kind of like my neighbors back home who are distantly related to Paul Revere.”“Mr. Allen will see you now,” she said.Our meeting took about twenty minutes as we worked out the details for the loan. I provided Jamie’s and Bruce Grady’s names and addresses, and got copies of all the forms I’d need to fill out. I handed him a folder of documents that Bruce had prepared for me, and after Mr. Allen reviewed them, we shook hands, and Katy and I headed. 'Well', she said, 'I guess there must always have been something in youand it's just so sad that losing Hannah was the catalyst that brought itout. After this evening I cannot see any outcome other than yourcontinuing to be 'Anna' as often as you wish, possibly permanently in duecourse'. I gulped at this statement and she followed up by asking what Ithought about the idea of becoming a complete girl, changing my sex. Iblushed deeply, and had to admit that the prospect was both daunting. Dressing up as a girl was out there, but it wasn't as if I hadn't heardof it before, and I had even seen a few pictures on the internet ofguys doing it. Some were even quite convincing, although many were not.The fact that I had not put up a very big fuss when mom began to helpme get dressed up was caused by both a curiosity, and a confidence thatI would look terrible. When that didn't happen, it was all downhill,and worse, after I saw myself, what I looked like I mean, I just knewwhat was.
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